33 Foot (Toe) Puns (Jokes) That You Will Get A Kick Out Of

Foot puns and foot jokes are all around us each day! Chances are you may have become foot-blind to the humor because many are overused or dates, so today we are going to reveal some of the more popular feet or toe related puns that will tickle more than your funny bone.

Some of these foot puns you will get without much thinking, others you will have to really pay close attention to before you get the joke, and those will become your favorites simply because they require a little effort for the payoff.

So let’s get to it, a list of 33 funny foot puns that you will get a kick out of!


  • I told the shoe store attendant I need to return the shoes because they had a bad frequency. I said now my foot hertz.

  • A very popular podiatrist on the island only charges by the foot.

  • The podiatrist decided to get a job selling sneakers at the mall because he figured he was an obvious shoe-in.

  • The man was arrested shortly after refusing to pay his bill at the restaurant. He simply didn’t want to foot the bill.

  • When the foot doctor was stranded on the side of the highway, he has to call a toe truck driver to help.

  • In a strange twist of fate, when the young boy became a farm hand, he mysteriously grew another foot.

  • One reason it is easy to surprise a duck is because they are often caught flat-footed.

  • One reason the podiatrist was losing business was because he was sneaky. If you gave him an arch, he would take a foot.

  • Did you know that a high scoring soccer game can be considered very offensive?

  • Bobby was the worst student in music class. When he tried to play the shoehorn, all he got was some footnotes.

  • Football is my favorite sport because I get a kick out of the punts.

  • The athlete was quite amazing, playing soccer, football, and running. He was a jock of all trades.

  • In a strange twist of fate, it is believed that marathon runners who wear the wrong footwear suffer agony of defeet.

  • All the ladies loved the bachelor because he was foot-loose and fiancee-free.

  • The conceited ballet dance was always obsessing about watching his feat on video.


  • That bear foot that was spotted in the woods definitely gave residents paws for concern this week.

  • In order for the mouse to get by the cat and steal the cheese he put squeakers on his feet.

  • I find learning about podiatry is fairly easy because the learning manuals all use footnotes.

  • The podiatrist was only 15 years old this week. He only celebrated his birthdays on leap years.

  • The criminal complained he was caught because he was wearing the wrong shoes. He has yet to see the footage!

  • Don’t ask a podiatrist to convert numbers to metric, they only are used to working with feet.

  • What did the shoe say to the hat? I think you should go on a head, I will follow on foot.

  • As his mother-in-law screamed from the back seat to slow down, Jerry would have none of it and put his foot down.

  • The general lost the war because he was too busy counting the feet of all the soldiers. His really was a toe-tally tarrying regime.

  • He made it into the Guinness Book of Records running thousands of miles in his own yard. It really was an amazing feet.

  • The ballerina had to give up on her dream because dancing was too-too painful on her feet.

  • The shoe maker always lost gracefully when playing games, he knew there was dignity in de-feet.

  • The man decided not to propose to his girlfriend at the ice skating rink because he got cold feet.


  • A pirate never has sore feet because they are always sitting on their booty.

  • The postal worker was fired because she was always stamping her feet around the office.

  • The best gardeners plant their feet firmly before working.

  • The janitor was always dating new women each week. He simply knew exactly how to sweep them off their feet with ease.

  • His two feet could never get along because they both thought they were right.

Hope you got a good laugh reading these funny puns, they certainly were designed to knock you off your feet!

Do you want to learn a bit more about foot care related topics? Read our latest guides on best foot spas, foot massagers and hard skin removers.

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